Just Breathe

So lately I feel like there isn't enough time in the day for me to breathe. Maybe it's good that I have been kept busy and haven't had time to stop and think because I have really just had a tough last couple of months.
I still have my days where I have to pretend like everything is ok, when I'm really going to break down and cry. Every since Jarret passed away in October I have pretty much been a mess, but I have done a pretty good job of trying to keep my composure, it's tough but you never know how strong you are when being strong is the only option you have. The other day I couldn't pretend to be strong anymore and I just broke down big time, but I guess sometimes you just need to do that every once in a while. I know that everyone that has left my life too soon wouldn't want me or anyone else crying over them, they'd want us to be happy and laugh at all the good times we shared.
Wednesday they lit the tree in Rockefeller Center and it made me wish I was up there so bad. Whenever it's cold out I just want to be up north; winter in North Carolina is just not the same as when I lived in Jersey. I hate the cold, but I just wish I could go back to those winters where I was with my cousins playing in the snow and walking through New York City with the snow falling and the Christmas Tree and all the decorations-then the cold is just worthwhile. I just miss it, a lot.


"Sometimes the questions are complicated and the answers are simple." ::Dr. Seuss::